GP and broadcaster, Dr Radha, shares her top five tips for supporting someone who is lonely.
Have you ever wondered why you feel a little better when someone smiles at you while walking past, or greets you with a cheery ‘good morning’? You may not think much about these so called ‘micro connections’, but they matter. Research actually shows these fleeting moments of connection can impact our sense of belonging and how happy we feel in a significantly positive way.
Loneliness Awareness Week this year focuses on how we can make more of those everyday, simple moments of connection to support our own and each other’s health and wellbeing.
The Marmalade Trust is encouraging us to choose a random act of connection like asking people questions, sharing how we feel with someone we trust, finding a hobby or a group, or joining a community choir or singing group.
Loneliness is the feeling that we experience when the amount or nature of social interactions in our lives doesn't feel right. It may be triggered by different life events, like bereavement or illness, or it may appear out of nowhere. Chronic loneliness can have a serious impact on our health - physical, mental and emotional. Research suggests that it can be as bad for our physical health as smoking 10-15 cigarettes a day. It can also contribute to depression or anxiety, amongst other things.
Importantly, loneliness is something we will all feel at some point in our lives. So it is something we need to talk about and remedy in our society, which is seeing increased levels of loneliness, with approximately 3 million people in England saying they felt lonely often in the last two years.
We don’t always realise when we are lonely, even if we actually are. When we are lonely we can find it harder to reach out and talk about it, and sometimes we can even feel embarrassed. So it’s helpful if those around us are able to notice when we may be finding things challenging, and support us to do the things that can help us feel less lonely or get the support we need to feel better.
We can help each other to feel less lonely, and doing so can make a huge difference to someone, as well as benefitting ourselves and our wellbeing. So, what can we do to support someone who might be feeling lonely?
Ask them
We may feel like it’s hard to tell someone that we’re feeling lonely. Sometimes, we’re not always aware of how we feel until someone asks us. Ask the question. It can give people the encouragement they need to open up and tell someone how they really feel. And it can also help them realise or notice how they actually are.
Be there
Often you don’t need to do much except help someone realise that you’re there for them and that you care. Knowing they have someone who is available without judgement is one of the key steps in feeling less lonely. Ask that person what you can do to support them and what will make them feel better – it might just be knowing that they can call or text you whenever they need to.
Share
It can help, if you feel comfortable, to share times or experiences when you’ve felt lonely. This can support someone to feel like they’re not alone in their loneliness, and also that loneliness can improve and that they can feel a bit better. It can also be a way of connecting with someone and foster a sense of connection and belonging.
Persevere
It can take time and small steps for someone to start to connect again after they have been lonely, as social connection is a habit that we build. Be patient and take time to support them in small ways. Try not to push what you think is best for them, rather ask them what might support them.
Support them
There are lots of actions they and you can take to help reduce their sense of loneliness. It may be supporting them starting a new hobby or joining a group and going with them, or helping them to find something they love to do. It may be supporting them going to talk to a link worker or another healthcare professional, who might refer them on to a social prescribing activity, to support their health and wellbeing and encourage connection. These can be singing, football, arts, crafting or getting advice and support with debt or finances. Each of us is different and that is why social prescribing is great, because it personalises what might support someone with their health and wellbeing and reduces loneliness.
